The prelude:

I want to be an actor.

I live near Chicago and am auditioning around these parts.

Hi I’m Stacy and you should cast me in your show. Thank you.


I began auditioning in Chicago about a month and a half ago without the slightest idea how long it would take me to land a role.  Auditioning is a real trip, and I’m grateful to say that somehow–my first few went pretty alright.

Act I

My fourth audition felt sort of kind of AMAZING.  I was auditioning for a character I totally jived with.  I knew I could portray her well, and I knew the director knew I could, too.  I felt >>completely<< alive as the director kept asking me to read different scenes from the play, always as the lead female character.  Whoa.

I told Ben I couldn’t imagine not being cast–that’s how well it went.  The phone call I received the next day was a shocker.  The director said, “I usually don’t make phone calls to actors–I let the producer do that–but with you….with you….I just really wanted to call you.”

A telephone near her started ringing (not the one she was using to talk with me) and I told her she could take the call.

I then regretted telling her she could take it as I stood in my bedroom waiting, wilting, during the longest 60 seconds that ever came to pass.

“Well, you didn’t get the part, Stacy.  You were our first choice, but the male actor we wanted to cast as your love interest declined the role.  Therefore, we had to go with our second choice male actor who is several inches shorter than you.  So, we’re offering the lead female part to our second choice female actress.”

Oh seriously?  That is not fair.  Oh that’s so not fair.

Is that not the best worst news you could receive?  I really had to fight a feeling of entitlement–as in–I should have had that part!  Not her!  I even had to get over the fact that I had shared my candy with the girl who was getting to play the lead as we waited to go in to audition.  The girl who stole my part also ate my favorite gummy fruits! 

Don’t mess with my favorite gummy fruits from downtown Naperville that Ben bought for me, ok?!

Act II

A week later I went to another audition.  It went great.  I felt so comfortable, in fact, that when they asked me to sing, I ended up sharing a song I wrote about Ben.  Interesting choice, Stacy.  Anyways–they laughed and I laughed and we had a jolly time of it.

They asked to see me again at a call back (yay) which I felt I did horribly at.   (Blaaah.)  I don’t even want to talk about it.

Weeks go by and I’m not surprised not to hear from them.

A few more auditions take place, and now I’m waiting to hear about a different gig in a touring ensemble that I know I’m being seriously considered for.  When my phone rings and I don’t recognize the number, I’m thinking surely it’s this touring act gig.  Eeek–did I get it or not??!

*Insert dramatic music from Phantom of the Opera or maybe just Charlie Brown Christmas*


It wasn’t the touring act gig I thought it’d be on the phone.  It was the director from the call back I’d done “horribly” at.  He asked if I was still interested in the show.  I’m thinking–why on earth are YOU interested in having ME in the show weeks and weeks after you should have had this cast?  Plus remember how I did real, real bad?

He went on to explain the pay, the rehearsal times, the performances, and I’m just confused.  Eventually he said, “So what happened is you were our second choice for the part.  We went another direction and cast someone else, but she decided to go another direction and not be in the show.  And she just told me today.  And our first rehearsal is tonight.  Will you PLEASE consider the show?  You’d be SAVING me!”

I hung up.  Cried.  Prayed.  Screamed.  Laughed uncontrollably in a way I’m so glad no one saw and hopefully my new neighbors didn’t hear.  And then I hopped in my car and headed to my first rehearsal.  It started 2 hours and 15 minutes after I got the call!

The play is Wind in the Willows. It’s an ensemble so everyone plays multiple characters. I’m really excited to be my favorite animal: a bunny!

Funny how I had to learn to let go of my felt RIGHT….my perceived ENTITLEMENT towards the part in that first play.  I had to wrestle with feeling like what was mine had been wrongly given to another.  And now–let’s face it–I’m getting something good that really should have gone to another.

The bunnies are good. The weasels are bad. Guess what I am here.  Nevermind these pictures were all taken in a bathroom mirror.  I don’t know what other people do at 10 pm on Tuesday nights but I take pictures of myself in the bathroom I guess.


It’s crazy, right?  Sometimes second-best is good enough!

This is theatre people, and things don’t always go as planned.  This is life, people, and things don’t always go as planned.  Sometimes, not always, they go better than planned.  ;)



Yes, I do get to play a few humans. I’ll be a gypsy, for example. Feel the love.

God doesn’t always put the most qualified people in the roles we think he should.  Yet somehow, where he puts us is right for us.  I can’t help but think of Moses who wondered why God would choose such a poor public speaker to do all this speaking on behalf of the God of the universe.

I’m resting and rejoicing in the fact that His ways are not for me to understand.

One of my favorite lines from the play is “Shake a paw!”  Never mind how grumpy I look–check out that lil paw paw!

You take what you can get and you enter the doors God opens, by faith, because of trust.

Who cares that I wasn’t first choice?  God is on my side, and He’s writing the ultimate script with my life.  {You know I just can’t pass up that metaphor.}  But really–our God gives good gifts, and you better believe he can write a good story!

I’ll be a crazy washerwoman.  “Sixpence a load, me dears!” Downy, anyone?

Praise the Lord, oh my soul!


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